


Even Heroes and Legends

by They Call Me the Cavalry (BadassNinja)



Series: Prompts, Wonderful Idea and All Things Philinda [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, I'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:11:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5720560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadassNinja/pseuds/They%20Call%20Me%20the%20Cavalry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mission goes south for Phil and Melinda, of course someone gets hurt and may even die. PHILINDA<br/>[WARNING: Major angst] A little bit of insight into the inner workings of our favourite couple, though this may be a little one sided.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even Heroes and Legends

**Author's Note:**

> For the Anon who prompted me with: Phil carries heavily bleeding and almost unconscious May to infirmary. "So- somebody help her!" I hope I did it justice though I may have gotten a little carried away with it here. Sorry for the extra dash of pain, my hand kind of slipped on the keyboard.

The sound of the gunshots echoed through his head and left his ears ringing. He whipped his head around, gun aiming before he fired in rapid succession at the person who had shot at them. He resumed his position to advance when suddenly May crumpled to the ground in front of him. 

"May!" He called as blood dripped from her uniform onto the floor, staining the white linoleum red. His eyes widened in horror as she let out a small pained gasp, hands clutching at her abdomen as she tried to stem the flow of blood. 

"May!" He cried again falling to the floor beside her. "Oh god, oh god!"

She merely murmured in pain, letting out small gasps as she breathed in and out. The red of her blood was blooming against the blue of her uniform turning it almost black. 

"We need extraction! Now!" Coulson ordered through his com. "Agent May is down."

All his mind could seem to comprehend was the fact that May was down. 'Agent May is down'. He has never had to say those words before, shocking when you took a look at their profession. 

'Agent may is down'. The words leave a vile taste in his mouth and he wishes that he'd never had to say those words. He almost cries when he hears nothing but static on the other end of his com. They're on their own. 

"I'm sorry but this is going to hurt," he says regretfully as he scoops May up into his arms. 

She makes barely any noise at the movement which worries him. 

"May stay with me," he begs desperately as her eyelids flutter trying desperately to stay open. "You gotta stay with me Mel." 

Her head nods almost imperceptibly at his words. He sighs with only slight relief. 

* * *

The ride back to base is a whirlwind that he can barely recall. Her skin was awfully pale and her breathing was shallow and rapid, so unlike her usual deep and slow breaths.

"Stay with me May," he repeated over and over again, holding her hand tightly and pressing his lips to it often as he drove at breakneck speed towards their base. "We're almost there Mel, hold on just a little longer," he pleaded as her eyes were now more shut than open. He threw the doors open as he scooped her up and carried her into the base at the fastest pace he could without causing her more injury. His clothes and hands were wet and sticky with her blood, and her suit was practically soaked through. 

"May!" He called as he rushed through the doors, lanyard now covered in blood. Her eyes were closed and her breathing had slowed. 

"So-somebody help her!" Phil's voice cracked as he cried desperately for help as he held his partner bleeding out in his arms. 

Soon he was swarmed by an assortment of shield doctors as May was removed from his arms and taken into one of the surgical rooms. 

"Mel!" He screamed pushing through doctors to get to her. 

"Coulson!" Simmons called drawing his attention. "Right now we doctors are doing all we can but we need you to wait. You're no good to May right now, she needs surgery." She said not unkindly placing a soothing hand on his arm. "We'll let you know if anything happens," she stated solemnly. 

Phil swallowed thickly as he fought to control himself. He was no good to May like this. 

"Ok," he nodded staring through the window into the medical room. 

Jemma gave him a small sad smile before entering the room prepped for surgery. 

* * *

Phil sat himself by the window of the surgery room, too worried for his partner and best friend to do anything else. He looked at his hands, they were covered in blood. Her blood. His white shirt was now stained with her blood, the red a violent pattern against the white. He felt sick. He's never seen so much blood before, not even when Skye- Daisy had been shot.

There is a trail of read down the corridor from where he'd walked, both drip patterns and shoe prints. His shoes feel sticky now that he thinks about it.

People. Doctors and nurses are scurrying about the surgery room as he watches. Different tools are being handed and more supplies are being acquired. How many hours has it been he thinks? He's lost all track of time.

He can hardly see Melinda amongst all the doctors and nurses surrounding her. Different people come to sit with him for a while. Daisy and Mack came for a bit before leaving, then it was Bobbi and Hunter. Now Fitz is sitting beside him as they watch the surgery with worry. He doesn't say anything to anyone as they join him, just continues to look forward, watching over Melinda.

He's never really considered losing her before. She's always been such a present part of his life that he'd begun to take for granted the fact that she'd always be there. He always knew that any one of them could be killed at any moment, he just never thought it would be her. The reality of that happening now is all too real. He can't lose her. He won't lose her. But what chance does he stand against death? He can't bring her back if she goes, no matter of how much he may want to.

Phillip Coulson is not an overly religious man but tonight he prays. He prays to whoever is listening that they show mercy and let his love remain with him. He cannot lose her, he's almost lost her far too many times already. Coming so close to actually losing her has shocked his heart into acknowledging the truth that he had been working so hard to avoid. He loves her. He, Phillip Coulson, is in love with Melinda May. He loves her. He prays that he gets the chance to tell her after all this. It's time they were completely honest with each other, time that they talked about how they were feeling, a subject so rarely broached between he and Melinda.

His eyes feel dry and sore, he's not sure how many hours he's been awake now but he's pretty sure it's late, maybe early if it's the next day. Simmons still hasn’t come back out of the room and his heart hasn't stopped its rapid pace. Is it supposed to take this long he thinks? He can’t remember how long they waited for Skye.

Suddenly there is a flurry of activity in the operating room. Sharp calls and orders are made as others scurry about. ‘She’s flat lining!’ Somebody calls as he sees another bring a defibrillator and his heart plummets. No! He can hear the distress in their voices as they call ‘clear’ and try again, the defibrillator working but failing. All he can hear is the deafening sound of the heart monitor going flat. It’s continuous beep echoing through his head. This is not happening. This cannot _ be _ happening.

He watches on in fear as they try again and again to restart her heart. Finally they call it.

Time of death: 1:02 AM

He cannot contain himself. He bangs on the glass of the window and he screams to negate their statement. She is not dead. She cannot be dead.

Melinda May cannot be dead.

Phil barely registers the other members of the team gathering around as Simmons emerges from the room, still donning blood covered gloves.

“I-uh,” she starts, tears brimming in her eyes as her voice cracks. “I- Agent May… Is gone,” she finally manages to say before the tears start and she buries her head in Fitz’s shoulder.

Daisy’s hand flies to her mouth as she takes deep shuddering breaths, shoulders shaking as she shakes her head in denial. 

“Oh my god,” she says almost a whisper, tears snaking down her cheeks.

Mack holds her up with a supportive arm keeping her from crumpling to the floor. Bobbi and Hunter stand there gobsmacked, this has to be some sort of cruel practical joke. There is no way May is dead. Quiet words and glances are exchanged between the pair as they struggle to come to terms with the loss of a team member. A family member. Fitz and Mack send each other looks a mix between pain and disbelief as they hold their partners providing support. No one had ever thought that it was possible to lose May. She’d always seemed like nothing could touch her, but that was it. She made it  _ seem _ that way, but it wasn’t. She was just as human as the rest of them, she was mortal and she could die.

She did die.

Phil doesn’t know what to do, or more specifically what to do first. He leaves the others to enter the now empty medical room with Melinda’s body. He holds her hand tightly in his, the barest traces of heat remaining. She’s so still, it’s almost as if she’s sleeping, but she’s not. He cries and begs her to open her eyes. To glare at him one last time, roll her eyes at him just once more. But she doesn’t respond. He talks to her softly, he orders her to return, he screams at her to come back. Her eyes remain closed and her body still. Phil looks at the woman he realised he loved too late, with the sheet covering her body he can almost pretend that she is just sleeping.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers through his tears pressing a gentle kiss to her hand.

“I should have told you sooner that I love you. Now it’s too late. You were always too good for me anyway,” he laughed humorlessly. “But I loved you anyway… Even when you thought you were broken. When you thought you were too broken for anyone to want you, I wanted you. When you thought that you didn’t deserve anyone or that you didn’t deserve happiness and love. I loved you Mel, I love you.”

He allowed his tears to blur his vision as they fell. Gently, almost timidly, he brushed her hair back from her forehead placing a gentle kiss upon it.

“You deserved the world Mel,” he whispered.  _ You deserved it all.  _

The truth that Phillip Coulson learnt that day was that they didn’t have all the time in the world, that they were mortal and they could die, even Melinda May. Because not even heroes and legends can escape death.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think, or if you have any other prompts that you'd like done. You can also follow me at @hardcore-evil-regal on tumblr and send me a prompt or whatever, I post a lot of philinda and anything Melinda May related. Anyway please let me know what you think, comments always make me feel nice and then I write more ^_^


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